So far numerous lessons have been taught to me here in Austria. After all, isn't the whole point of exchange to learn new things? And not all of these lessons have been taught in school, of course. (Although some of them have happened in the classroom.)
I'm talking about life lessons. The kind of that regardless if you have the best teacher or the best textbook you aren't going to learn until you have done it yourself.
Whoa. Hold up. Before I delve any deeper into a discussion about the kinds of life lessons one experiences in Austria, or anywhere abroad for that matter, I want to give you some background on my frame of mind before I left Canada.
Sixteen. Practically an adult. I have learned about the world from media, I am going out by myself with my friends, I have my own opinions, dreams, motivations. All of these things when put together made me feel pretty grown up. Yeah, okay, I wasn't technically an adult. But by this criteria, I thought I knew a lot about how life worked. I'd cracked the code.
This frame of mind stayed with me for approximately five minutes after touch down in Austria. Sure, it's natural to feel lost when you're in a new country but it occurred to me very quickly, too quickly almost, that I knew if not nothing, very little about the way life works.
Suddenly, I was reliant on two strangers (wonderful strangers whom welcomed me into their home with open arms and I have since become not-strangers) for everything. I didn't know how to get around. I didn't know that there could be so many people in one place. How to dress, how to walk, how to eat, how to talk. Nothing.
For some people this may be alarming. Actually, if this isn't alarming to you at all please share your secrets so that the exchange students of the world may employ them. After a quick assessment of my -foreign- surroundings and my frame of mind I thought:
"Would it help?"
That is, getting freaked out. Naturally, the answer was no. So began finding solutions to what I was faced with. Thinking more realistically about what was happening.
It wasn't that I didn't know anything about life. It's just that I didn't know anything about life in Austria. That was quite a relief to me, knowing that my past sixteen years of figuring stuff out weren't in vain. Soon I saw the solution to the problem that was plaguing me:
Don't know something? Ask questions.
And so I did, and so I have been doing since I got here. Asking tons and tons of questions. Worried sometimes that I was asking too many. And to my surprise my questions have almost always been given an answer, and I have never been told that my questions were stupid or that I should already know the answer.
People genuinely want to share with me their own stories, culture, experiences of Austria. And if you ask, even what you think are small questions, you may spark a much more meaningful answer. This is one example I can think of off the top of my head:
My host dad and I had went on a hike up towards the vineyards around the Vienna. With us, a small picnic basket and a few song sheets. He was planning on teaching me the lyrics to some German songs when we stopped for lunch. When we finally did stop, it was under a chestnut tree and I could see the entire skyline of Vienna. I took a few pictures but I don't think it does it justice. As we began looking over the music I had asked what Austrian folk music was like. Not a profound question or anything. I was just trying to keep the conversation flowing.
He then told me that a lot of it was a cliche. Not really understanding what he meant, and with still no clues as to what Austria folk music sounded like, I asked why.
A long explanation followed, perhaps one lasting about ten whole minutes. He told me that during WWII, after the Nazi regime had taken control, they focused on diluting the culture. Music, he said, was no exception. And even with the diluting of traditional folk culture, it was put on pedestal and began to become synonymous with the regime itself, rather than with its true origins. After the war people didn't want anything to do with folk music, out of fear they would be associated with the Nazis. It took a long time for people to once again enjoy it freely, almost as late as the 1980s. He said there were few musicians left playing to the roots of the music, but they were slowly becoming more and more popular.
Huh. I still had no idea what folk music sounded like. But I learned something far more important. For me, reading about history is exciting. And I especially like learning about war history. However, I didn't ever have to live it. Removed from the situation I don't think I appreciated the back story of what was written, the living consequences of past actions. It was interesting, but didn't have an impact on me.
Sitting in a Viennese vineyard is the first place I learned about an Austrian perspective on a piece of history. Not in a classroom. But I also learned that although I may not get the answer I want, it doesn't make it the wrong one. I may have wanted to hear a description including the types of instruments played, but I got one including the lasting impact of WWII. The latter being a lot more meaningful in my opinion.
Since then I have tried to let go of coming in with any expectation to situations. Of course, it's hard not to try to imagine the answer we are going to get, not to anticipate what is going to what is going to happen at school. Whatever. In my experience it all boils down to the same result: it never turns out the way I thought it would. So instead of wasting energy on coming up with a million possible solutions, I have satisfied myself with just planning for what can be planned and leaving the rest. I've found I'm a lot more happy this way.
Happier to plan seek out new things and and be content on where they take me.
"Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon
-Ashley
-
At this point I have attended a single Rotary meeting. And it was at this meeting that I had the chance to interact with members of the club. Most interactions were brief, but for the bulk of the evening I had the chance to sit down at the dinner table and really get to know three club members. The affair seemed to be very exclusive. It took place at the Golf-Club Wien clubhouse. Complete with white wicker chairs and plush throw cushions, people in fancy clothing, and sprinklers that sprayed a fine mist over the guests every few minutes lest they get too hot in the end of summer heat (I thought the sprinklers were pretty funny but kept any jokes to myself.)
An impromptu speech was in order before dinner was served, with me as the main entertainment. Despite my counselor telling me not to worry about a speech of any kind. Guess you can't plan for everything.
In my well rehearsed German I introduced myself, said where I came from, said how happy I was to be here, thanked them for sponsoring me, and smiled a lot. Then, in some not so rehearsed German I tried to explain what I had done over the summer break, until I ran out of words to say and an awkward pause signaled the end.
When I sat down the sprinklers came on and I was grateful, because I could definitely feel that my whole face was burning up. Next time I will remember to prepare a little more.
Regardless, as I was talking with one gentleman, named Maximilian, we began talking about pass times in Austria. I had mentioned I loved skiing, and he said he did as well. He said that he would be willing to take me along with him and his family to their cabin in Tirol and I could have the chance to ski there. I said that I would love to. In fact, the sooner the better. I was not really expecting him to say next: How about this weekend?
He explained it was his sister's wedding and he was in need of a babysitter for his two children. I was eager to get the chance to see the West so I agreed. I had a few questions, though.
"How much English do the children speak?"
He looked at me for a moment and shook his head.
"They don't speak any."
Bam. There it was. I was just expecting the children to speak English. Guess they didn't.
"Great! Let me ask my host parents and I'll go!"
That weekend I attended an Austrian wedding. Complete with dirndls, lederhosen, and plenty of celebration. I was amazed at how much I could understand from the context, and even though I didn't understand most of the vows, I was so happy for a couple I had never met. I was invited to a beautiful celebration with new people, welcomed once again into a new part of Austrian culture.
After the children and I went home, I found they were quite happy to do most of the talking. Teaching me colors and animal sounds. Asking me what it was like living in Canada. Where Canada was in the world. How one day they would come visit me. We even played "I spy." When it was late I left with the children while the adults stayed. I put them to bed and the next day we traveled the four hours back to Vienna.
I may have just expected to make small talk with Maximillian when I asked him what he liked to do in his spare time, but like I said, the answer that I wanted wasn't the one I got.
And I can tell you that spending an entire weekend with his family, going to a wedding, and seeing the gorgeous landscape was a much more meaningful answer to the question what do you do in your free time than skiing.
All because I asked a question. Still baffles me a bit, but hey, I still have quite a few months left to learn some life lessons, don't it? The importance of asking questions must be the first step.
-Ashley
