Nervousness. Would it help?

At this current moment I am huddled under a small blanket in a Calgary hotel room, trying by best not to wake up my mom and sister who are sleeping beside me. (The art of typing quietly eludes me it seems.) However, I am not the only one making noise. The airport is close by and every now and again the muffled roar of jet engine can be heard in the distance. This whole set up is peaceful almost, but right now it seems that I can't seem to settle into any sort of peace.

A thousands thoughts are running through my head. With my flight being a mere few hours away now, it seems everything has just gotten very, very real very fast. But I'll try my best to short hand my thoughts for you. After all, this is a blog, not a diary. 

I have learned that a person, no matter how prepared they feel in the days or weeks leading up to the departure of their trip, will suddenly remember all the things they have (or might have) forgotten to pack, or to organize, to prepare and to plan for. Despite me planning this trip months in advance, the last minute things still managed to sneak their way in. I may have purchased enough tubes of toothpaste to stock a fallout shelter, but ensuring all my travel documents are in order managed to push itself to the day before I leave. The important take away though is that I got it done. Last minute or not.

Whether a feeling of inadequacy has crept up on me as these past few weeks because of these the general feeling of rushed preparations or not has yet to be determined. Regardless thoughts like: Why didn't I think of that sooner? Shouldn't I find a better way of doing that? How come I can't do that the right way? Still manage to cross my mind.

These self-doubting questions have certainly not helped me focus on being in a good state of mind for my coming journey and exchange. If anything, it has probably made my state of mind worse. Obviously, something had to be done to refocus myself. And for me this is taking the time to simply relax and do something I enjoy; in this case, watch a movie. 

It was while watching this movie that I discovered something quite interesting, an almost answer to how I could refocus myself. It's kind of weird that the answer is a question, but it is. And that question is simply: "Would it help?"

The quote is from Bridge of Spies; a Steven Spielberg movie. If you have seen it you will recognize where this quote fits in. In case you haven't, I'll link a movie clip so you understand the context but I highly suggest you go watch it. It's a pretty good movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVZRVi-KNog

So. As I go about all of my own worrying I have discovered one way to cope with it. Ask myself the very simple question of "Would it help?" If the answer is no, I'm sure I can manage to find a better way to occupy my time.

Now, in closing. I know today's post has almost nothing to do with Austria, so I apologize if that's what you were hoping for. But I just wanted to share what is really going through my head in the hours before I leave and if that includes Steven Spielberg, it includes Steven Spielberg, What happens tomorrow is not an unknown (my flight itinerary is pretty solid) but when I land in Vienna, well then, who knows? All I know is that I am overwhelming excited and happy about this exchange, and, in my experience those two things I'm sure would help. 

-Ashley